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Angelina Jolie To Homebirth Twins

I briefly read a news article claiming that Angelina Jolie is planning to homebirth her twins in France. Of course I’m only privy to the media gossip, but it seems she has a personal obstetric team on hand. “It’s homebirth Jim, but not as we know it.” So rather than transferring the birth to the hospital, she’s transferring the hospital to the birth! Nevertheless, if she pulls it off the publicity might inspire others to examine their options rather than join the cattle market. All the same, I’m very confident in predicting another caesarean for her. Last time it was an “emergency” section for a breech, so to VBAC twins with a personal obstetric team is a fantasy that even super-heroine Lara Croft couldn’t pull off.

Angelina Jolie as lara croft

Want to homebirth twins? Step 1: Loose the Obstructions. Er I mean Obstetricians.

Somebody should have told her that I’m in the Gaulish vicinity when she’s due and am experienced in twin homebirths. The thing about celebrities though is they’re only happy when something costs a lot. Perhaps I should charge more? Then like that fine Belgian beer, Stella Artois, I too can be reassuringly expensive.

There was a comment on a forum I read called joyous birth. It said that maybe it would have been easier for Angelina to take a lamp, pillow and duna (quilt to me as I’m from UK) and make the hospital more like home if she wants Obstetric care. THAT wouldn’t create a stir and they wouldn’t be able to spend thousands of dollars flying in their own “specialists” from America. Wouldn’t want those Frenchy’s touching her. I wonder if they flew in a homebirth midwife?

5 responses to “Angelina Jolie To Homebirth Twins”

  1. name: "head in the clouds"

    You crack me up! I too, wasn’t exactly shocked when she ended up with a section in … was it Nambia? … Gosh, I really, really, really hope she pulls this off … but what’s the bet we don’t see much media about it if she does? … But it would be fan, freaking-tastic, if she does.

  2. Cryptic Automaton

    Ha-ha,

    I can’t believe the intrepid Lara Croft is too wimpy to push a baby out of her vagina.

    What next, James Bond can’t manage sex without a dose of Viagra?

    It seems to me that it’s always shock headlines when a celebrity has a normal birth. For the sake of efficiency why not combine the role obstetrician and plastic surgeon and kill two birds with one stone (sic).

  3. Sarah Stewart

    I’ll be eating more than my hat if she has a vaginal birth. Ha Ha

  4. missy

    i had a VBAC after 2 c-sections!
    I hope she gets her home VBAC with the twins, she’s just a regular human being with desires and dreams! i felt horrible about having my second c-section!
    even if she has section #2 there’s NO reason to have a c-section with her third pregnancy! (i read somewhere that they expect to have MORE!)

    if you are reading this Jolie, there is an AWESOME OB in Cincinnati Oh who is totally supportive of vbac with twins, or VBA2C!

    1. Marlene Waechter

      At Missy – yeah, Dr. Bowen in Cinci, is pretty good & expensive enough all right, but I wouldn’t call him “awesome”. He is homebirth supportive, but doesn’t actually do them, like Dr. Brunsman used to. There are awesome homebirth midwives in & around Cinci who also do twins & HBA2C’s!