As an Independent Midwife I spend a lot of time in my car driving from one appointment to the next (I’ve just about exhausted the talking books at the library). Of course it would be far more convenient if I made all my clients visit me and allocated them a fixed time-slot. But that isn’t the service I offer. Women who employ an Independent Midwife are looking for a something a bit more personal. The time we spend discussing their pregnancy over coffee at their home not only ensures we’re in agreement over their birth plan, but goes a long way to establishing trust in our relationship. By the time they are ready to birth we are both striving for the same thing and are working together in order to achieve it. Not only is there trust but frequently a friendship that extends long after the birth.

Now if you too spend a lot of time driving you will know that you end up with more than your fair share of punctures. This of course means visiting an auto-centre to get the puncture repaired. Here starts a tale you will no doubt all be familiar with.

Tyre fitters up to their old tricks

You have picked up a slow puncture and every few days are refilling the tyre with air. So you call into the local tyre centre to get it fixed. The mechanic takes a look and tells you that it really isn’t worth fixing the puncture as the tyre is quite worn and is best replaced. He takes a glance at the other tyres and with the sincerest of voices tells you all the other tyres should be replaced too. Slightly taken aback and wondering how you’re going to pay for it, you ask if he’ll just fit the cheap tyres they have on special. He goes to his computer and informs you that they don’t have those in stock, but instead recommends a more expensive alternative which, as luck would have it, is actually a better deal because they are harder wearing and produce less road noise. What a life saver! Reticently you tell him to go ahead and fit 4 new tyres. He then suggests you have them balanced and the wheel alignment checked, to which you also agree.

So half an hour later, your car is up on the lift with all the wheels off. The mechanic wanders over and says he’s noticed your wheel bearing are worn, your brake pad are down to the limit and the ball joints have got too much play. Your feel your stomach dropping into your boots. He continues by telling you about the worn shocks and wibble joints, but almost as if he’s doing you a favour thinks they could probably last a bit longer. You question whether you really need the extra work done and with an authoritative stance he nods. What a life saver! Reluctantly you agree, after all he’s the mechanic – what the hell do you know about cars and wibble joints.

An hour later you’re driving away with your credit card literally bursting at the seams. You have the feeling that somewhere along the line you’ve been ripped off good and proper. You keep thinking to yourself why didn’t I just say “Look mate, spare me the sales pitch and just fix the damn puncture”, but you just couldn’t do it could you? Saying NO is so bloody difficult.

Now maybe your were ripped off or maybe the mechanic was genuine. Who knows. All you are really sure of is the more work he does the more money he makes. Simply fixing a puncture will not be setting his world alight. If the mechanic was somebody you truly knew and trusted then you wouldn’t feel like you’ve had the word “MUG” stamped on to your forehead. People who trust one another tend not to rip each other off.

This high-tech equipment doesn't come cheap

Now this sorry tale is not confined to the automotive industry. It’s everywhere. Dentistry is another fine example. You go in to have a loose filling fixed, the dentist shows you an x-ray that might as well be a map of the Sahara, all of which means he’s unearthed a minefield for you and a goldmine for him.

As you may have anticipated, this conveniently brings us to birth. Now you may have made a birth-plan and think you have it all under control. But once you’re through the hospital doors it’s like being back in school where the teachers and headmaster simply must be obeyed. Before you know it your birth plan is out the window, simply because it is too bloody difficult to say NO to somebody stamping their authority.

Perhaps this might ring a bell. You arrive at hospital during early labour for a planned normal birth. Your feet have barely warmed up your fluffy slippers before the well versed cascade of intervention starts. First up is the continuous monitoring of the baby with a CTG. Now your plan clearly says that unless there is a problem you do not want CTG as it’s been found to do nothing but increase the incidence of a section. The staff however say it’s policy and important to ensure the safety of the baby. You decide to accept and save your energy for the battles that really matter. If the hospital were selling double-glazing they have now got their foot in the proverbial door – and you know what that means! A while later you are on the bed and in some discomfort so the staff offer you pain relief. Now this wasn’t in your plan either, but you agree that it is quite difficult to concentrate when you’re in pain and a couple of paracetamol is hardly a show stopper. Ouch, the epidural wasn’t quite what you had in mind, but what the heck perhaps they’ll give you a break and you can get on with the birth. Unfortunately, the epidural has caused your labour to slow up and you are no longer dilating as quickly as policy dictates. To counter this you have a drip inserted to speed along the contractions. Thank goodness you were in hospital huh! You would have been completely out of your depth had you stayed at home.

Welcome to your Nightmare - At least you have the sunlamps and widescreen plasma TV

Once it’s all over you have the feeling that somewhere along the line you’ve been stitched up good and proper. You keep thinking to yourself why didn’t I just say “Look doc, spare me the hospital policy and just follow the damn birth plan”, but you just couldn’t do it could you? Saying NO is so bloody difficult.

Now maybe your were stitched up or maybe the hospital staff were genuine. Who knows. All you are really sure of is if the birth attendant was somebody you truly knew and trusted then you wouldn’t feel like you’ve had the word “MUG” stamped on to your forehead. People who trust one another tend not to stitch each other up.

You see many women who choose to homebirth do so because they were dissatisfied with the care they received at hospital. However very few women who’ve homebirthed subsequently go on to birth at hospital, and it is they – not their midwives, who are the biggest homebirth advocates. So if you really want to have the birth you’ve dreamed of consider employing an Independent Midwife. After all, you probably pulled out all the stops for your wedding, and there’s a good chance you end up with more weddings than children. Why not have a birth to remember instead of one you’d rather forget.

Related posts:

1. Final Independent Midwifery Workshop
2. Insurance for Midwives
3. International Midwives Day 5th May
4. Australian College of Midwives Draft Homebirth Plan
5. College Of Midwives