What a surprise to discover I was pregnant again! I was really looking forward to having another baby, it felt like it was just the right time for another soul to join our family. The pregnancy was physically a lot harder 2nd time around, and as bubs grew, we were so sure we were going to have another breech baby. For the majority of the time, she was definitely head up, until around 37weeks when Lisa said she was definitely head down!! I found it quite a relief. Not because I didn’t believe or trust I could birth another breech, but it was something less to think about in labour.

After a restless night I was woken at 4am on the day I was 41weeks, with gentle cramps. I wasn’t sure if it was the start of labour or not, but I had a feeling it was. After about half an hour I went into Lilly’s room where Brooke was sleeping and snuggled up to him, waiting to see if anything progressed. I timed a few contractions and they were coming about every 3-5minutes so I decided to wake Brooke. We talked a little and decided to get up and get a few things ready. Contractions were mild, so I wandered around, lighting my labour candles, put on my birthing necklace and wrote in my journal, whilst Brooke blew the pool up. It was a beautiful time which we shared, enjoying the excitement of what was about to unfold. I walked around dripping colostrums, thinking how much I was looking forward to holding my baby at my breast.

I asked Brooke to fill the pool up now as I wasn’t sure how fast this labour might be, as my first was only 5 hours. I was a little hungry so decided to eat now whilst I could- banana it was. Contractions were getting a little more bitey by 5:30am so I called Kathryn, our support person, who was also at Lilly’s birth (and a midwife). I felt a bit tired so I propped myself up on some pillows on the lounge and rested.

Compared to Lilly’s labour, this seemed so much more calm and relaxed and I could tell Brooke was feeling more in control as it wasn’t all so new to him! Kathryn arrives around 6am. It all felt very real then! Support person=baby time! The sun was just rising so I asked Brooke to take some pictures of it peeping over the hills, as it brought a whole new day, full of new beginnings, with it. I wanted some fresh air so we went into the back yard for a wander around.

It was a lovely time of morning.I walked through the garden, saying good morning to all the plants whilst I continued to ride the waves as they came. I didn’t have to ask for anything, Kathryn and Brooke always knew what I needed- water, cold face cloth, photos… At some stage Kathryn asked if I wanted to listen to baby’s heartbeat, which I did, and of course all was fine! I asked someone to call Michelle, Lilly’s support person as she would probably wake up soon.

As the sun was fully up I felt the need to go back inside. I decided to let my Midwife Lisa know what was happening, and she of course was at another birth, her only one left for the month! The woman was pushing so I knew she would make it.

Shortly after, Lilly woke up and she was a little perplexed at the candles burning and the pool filled and mummy moaning on the couch, but she settled once she had her breakfast, and Michelle soon arrived and I barely noticed them from then on! They played happily and quietly in the play room, next to where I was laboring. It was so lovely to be able to look over at my beautiful ‘baby girl’- so big and independent and taking everything in her stride!

From here on is a little bit of a blur. I remember getting into the pool and it felt so amazing! It was heavenly to be able to float around and stretch out, as I had had awful Symphysis pubis dysfunction through the pregnancy. The contractions did get a little more intense in the water but they seemed to space out at the same time, but I was enjoying a break. Lilly immediately wanted to join me in the pool, which was fine. We had discussed in my pregnancy that she is not to make loud noises or make big splashes, and she didn’t! Lilly just did her thing and gave me some cuddles and kisses and was happy to get out when I asked her to.

I think Lisa arrived when I was in the pool. I didn’t ‘need’ her, but I was so happy to feel her presence. I felt like such a birthing goddess- I had Brooke physically supporting me through contractions, applying pressure to my back, Kathryn doing whatever else needed done, water etc and Lisa just being there! And whenever I could lift my head up off the pools edge, I could see Lilly having a wonderful time with Michelle. It was so perfect.

Lisa suggested maybe it ‘wasn’t’ happening in the pool and maybe I should hop out for a bit. I agreed I needed to get out and she suggested sitting on the toilet for a bit, and I quickly remembered how bloody hard it was! But I knew it would bring me closer to meeting my baby. Having contractions on the toilet seemed so much harder this time, compared to lily’s birth! I really had to focus and keep my breath and voice low, as it would at times get a little out of control. I just buried my face into Brooke during the contractions and had Lisa there helping me through them, when I needed. After about half an hour I was done with that plan, so decided to get back into the pool. The contractions stayed really intense and I knew I was getting really close. The hardest part of the contractions at this stage was the excruciating pain radiating around my pelvis. It truly felt like my pelvis was cracking apart. It would start in my back and come all the way around to the front. Ouch!I felt like I wanted or needed my membranes to release and was hoping they would soon! I remember feeling frustrated because I knew I was so close and wanted to feel that pushing urge but it wasn’t happening yet!! I think I presumed it would happen quicker second time around, but it didn’t it was almost exactly the same length of labour and pushing.

I turned around in the pool, so I had my back to everyone and just looked at my wall of affirmations and really felt the power in my birthing necklace. I was so focused on a poster I had drawn, days before I went into labour. I don’t usually draw, but I must have known I would need to read these words which helped me shift my energy and focus and move through transition- “Surrender… Embrace…”. I turned back around in the pool and had a huge emotional release. I cried and cried and cried. I think I was letting out a lot of emotions from the past year, in particular the loss of my father. It was then I decided I needed to get out of the pool and knelt down on the mattress and almost immediately felt a strong urge to push. I was so totally overwhelmed by the feeling- it was very different to lily’s birth- way more intense!! I think I was fighting it a little, as I was quite frightened of the absolute power of my body. Lisa suggested I bring a knee up, with my foot flat on the ground. This brought baby right down and I could no longer control or resist the urge to push. My very powerful body was doing it, and all I could do was hang on for the ride, literally! I just screamed with the occasional push whilst I gripped onto and twisted the fabric on our lounge!

I thought I was close to crowning as I felt quite a burn, but then I hear Lisa saying “ooh, there goes your membranes, maybe the next one?” What?! What?! You mean that was only my membranes bulging?! Crap! Within a couple of contractions I experienced the most intense burning, and I truly thought my clitoris was going to shatter into a million pieces. I thought maybe if I lean forward more it may ease the burn a little-dear god NO it didn’t-I let out what seemed like the loudest scream and my body pushed my baby out and the sensation as the rest of her body slithered out was heavenly.

I took a moment to catch my breath and reached down and picked up my baby girl. Another girl! I always knew she was a girl! I immediately noticed how heavy she felt and that she looked so much like her dad. I held her in my arms and turned around to sit down, noticing all the meconium. In fact it was old meconium which had stained my baby’s cord and finger nails!

Lilly was there, sitting on her dads lap, and had watched everything. I was so pleased! They were both hugging each other very tightly actually.

The sheer relief was my immediate thought, and then I wanted Lilly to come over and meet her baby sister. She wasn’t too fussed, just looked at her, staying close to her dad. I got a huge contraction and felt like pushing, so a couple of big pushes and out flew my placenta, another wonderful sensation. I was relieved it came so quickly as the cord was so short I couldn’t bring her to my breast. My goal of this birth was not to tear (I had a second degree tear with Lilly), and I didn’t! I just had some grazing near my clitoris and on my perineum, but no real tear. I really noticed the difference in comfort in the following days and weeks.

We had the name Willow chosen if it was a girl but she really didn’t look like a willow. Just as we were talking about that, a friend rang my mobile and Brooke looked at the name, Zara, and said, I really like that name. I looked at my baby and knew straight away she was a Zara! So she was named Zara Grace.I was cleaned up and shuffled into bed, where I fed Zara and at my request we weighed her- 4kg, almost half a kg bigger than Lilly. The three of us snoozed on and off for the afternoon whilst Michelle kept Lilly entertained.

That night, as all four of us curled up in bed, it felt as though Zara had always belonged in our family. It was perfect!

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