If Dr Who was a woman she would have a vagina like the one in this movie. Tardis is all that springs to mind. My god how did that baby get out of there. I could have sworn it came out clutching a toothbrush. Then again, perhaps it was a sonic screwdriver.

Parenthood

Parenthood has to be one of my all time favourite movies. I think any parent, particularly those with junior and teenage children, will relate to it. It has so many poignant and funny scenes. Honestly, if you’re having a tough time with your kids, watch parenthood and you’ll feel so much better.

Parenthood doesn’t have much of a plot. It’s simply a moment in time in the life of Gil (Steve Martin). A father trying to juggle work and family life. He struggles at work because he can’t be as committed as younger, single men. His children have a variety of behavioural issues and he compares his parenting skills to those of his own siblings. He sees himself as a bit of a failure. But of course he is not. He is just like the rest of us.

My kids also loved parenthood, although watch out as there are a few risque scenes in there. For example, in one scene Gil accidentally reveals his sister’s vibrator at a family dinner. All the kids in the movie were saying “What is it?”, and my kids were saying the same thing. “It’s an electric ear cleaner”, explains Gil’s wife. But that answer didn’t fool my 12 year old as he explained to my 9 year old EXACTLY what is was. However the scene with the contraceptive diaphragm had them all confounded.

So What About the Birth Scene?

Parenthood has 3 pregnancies, although they play a minuscule role in the story. There’s only one birth scene and it’s a fairly brief hospital affair at the very end of the movie. As usual the entire staff are chanting “push!”, regardless to whether there is a contraction. As the the baby’s head emerges it is covered with a rather intense dose of blood which magically disappears in the next shot.  The Doctor (notice the pre-birth blood stained gown) somehow turns the baby 90 degrees as it is born so it can be presented correctly for the camera. There is an incredibly long and unrealistic looking cord, and you won’t be surprised to see the doctor’s hand holding it in place.

What will get your attention is the size of the baby. It’s huge. No wonder the mother’s arms and legs were covered in beads of sweat. You would not like to push that sucker through your vagina. I think we’ll have to give an award to the most absurdly sized newborn baby in a movie. So far this is the winner.

All the extended family are waiting outside and there’s a touching celebratory scene at the end. This movie would have really benefited from a homebirth don’t you think?

Do notice the reference to the mother when the dad announces the birth – “It’s a Girl, and Helen is fine”. Why wouldn’t she be? This is how the fear of birth is perpetuated.

Finally, check out the shot of the baby in the nursery. Eyes open wide, attentively looking around. Just like a newborn hey.