The Birth story of Tulsi Eliza Wilson – Born at home

This is a new birth and a new baby, unique unto itself

On Tha’is’ bunting made at my Blessingway

I had to remind myself many times throughout your birth Tulsi that I could not expect it to be like your sisters – you are a unique individual and had your own way of coming into the World. Very early in fact! I was only 35 weeks gestation (approximately) yet was carrying you extremely low and Lisa, my great friend and birth advocate, rang me after craft day on Wednesday and said that her and Hannah had discussed it after seeing me and both thought I looked like I was very ready to have a baby sometime soon. I was somewhat surprised however had been feeling your head in my pelvis for many days and my belly had an incredible downward slope to it, so it made sense. Not that I had anything ready for your arrival yet and hadn’t even had my Blessingway yet, which I was really looking forward to as were many of my friends, so everyone wanted you to hang it there until afterwards! I actually felt very ready to go on the Friday night, I had everything ready, the pool had been dropped off and I had a few ‘signs’ such as finding the bottle of red wine in the cupboard that I had stored until after you were born, and it being a Friday and we were going to Emlen and Simone’s for dinner which happened before Isha was born. Anyway, I am so glad I was able to have my Blessingway on the Sunday – it was a truly magical day surrounded by Women that I love, their true birthing energy and the blissfulness of sitting around crafting the bunting and chatting all afternoon. I think we were all on cloud 9, sharing birthing wisdom and hennaing my belly. I had so much energy that day though I was beginning to think maybe it was all a bit of a false alarm. I was jumping over couches and Tha’is and I even ran around the back yard herding chooks at 5.30pm that night! By the time everyone went home, I remember feeling incredibly loved and supported and really ready to have a baby now. I had to first sew the bunting onto the wool and hang it in the playroom. Then I threaded all my birthing beads onto the wire and finished my absolutely stunning birthing necklace, all the while reading some of the affirmations and verses my Womenfolk had given me. I even placed candles out and decided to have a bath with Clary Sage and Lavender (which I did before going into labour with Isha too). I figured ‘I’m ready, let’s do this!’

So Daddy Joss and I are lying in bed at about 11pm talking about how life is in limbo at the moment and wouldn’t something just happen so that we could know what we were doing – and I roll over and say goodnight and – whoosh – my waters broke! Ha – I laughed so much and told Joss but he didn’t believe me – I told him to turn the light on, I’m for real and then another gush – ahhh, I grabbed some pyjama pants that were on the floor and put them between my legs as I rushed to the toilet, all the while laughing so much at the coincidence of it all. I mean really – you were so in tune with where we were at and couldn’t have timed it more perfect, and on the night of my Blessingway after feeling so much love all day. Joss immediately started setting up the pool as we figured Isha’s birth wasn’t very long so this one might be quicker. The playroom was pretty much already set up, I had even got towels and blankets out, so all I did was light some candles, get the music set up and text Simone, Tha’is, Bec and Skye. They were all similarly shocked by the timing! I called Lisa and said “So, do you want to come back to my house?!” She knew immediately that I had started labour and we both laughed, she asked if I wanted her here now, and I was like “why not, let’s just hang out and see what happens!”

So far everything had happened exactly like Isha’s birth so I was expecting to feel pain in my back soon but it just didn’t come, not even period pain really. I kept thinking ‘hmmm, come on, something happen’, but found Tha’is’ affirmation on her bunting and so made that my sort of mantra – ‘don’t expect this to be the same’. Lisa and Hannah arrived and we all pretty much just sat around chatting. Hannah and Joss discovered that they could use Joss’ underwater camera to film the birth and so set about making sure that was all ready. I hadn’t ever thought about filming the birth but seeing as we had the technology I figured, may as well. I wanted something to happen so was moving my hips around a lot and standing, and slowly the pain in my back appeared – nothing like the pain I remember with Isha! People would ask if I wanted pressure or heat, and I kinda didn’t mind as I didn’t feel like I needed it yet. I think it was just nice to have Joss massaging my back anyway. I was leaking a lot of fluids and was standing over a Kylie and some towels on the floor. I had given up on having a towel in between my legs stuffed into Joss’ jocks (what a sight!) as it was just easier to let it all drip out. Gradually as the contractions increased I found my Zen in closing my eyes and breathing through them, usually leaning onto the pool. I had considered going for a walk to get things going quicker, but the prospect of walking in the freezing cold was not appealing, so I just walked, rocked and jigged my belly around the room a little more.

Around 1.30-2pm contractions started becoming more regular and I found that I had to go to my little Zen place every time and everyone else stopped chatting and came there with me it felt. The feeling in the room changed and labour was on. At this time also Isha awoke and could not be soothed back to sleep by Joss so joined us in the birthing space. I was truly so excited to have her there and felt like as soon as she arrived things really kicked in, It was not distracting as I thought it may be, she really added to the energy in the room and I was so full of joy that she was sharing this experience. We explained to her that when Mummy closes her eyes it means that she is needing to concentrate on getting the baby out and so Isha needs to be quiet and not disturb me. She totally understood and watched in wonder. Hannah sat her on the couch and read “Hello Baby”, and every time something happened or progressed with your birth, it was explained to Isha in context with the book and its pictures – perfect!

Sometime after 4am I felt the need to get in the pool, the contractions were still not unbearably intense I just thought it sounded like a nice idea. They did however pick up once in the pool, and I felt more comfortable on my back this time and stretched out like a starfish, pressing against the sides of the pool. I always had someone’s hand to squeeze and remember thinking it was great I had Joss, Lisa and Hannah to rotate looking after Isha, hand squeezing and water passing! I felt like I was really in a zone with myself and even though I was very aware of people around me, this birth was so much more inwardly focussed and I felt like a journey through my own capacity as a birthing mother with experience this time. I had expressed to Lisa that I wanted to birth you myself, as in aid you out of the water so I could see you as you entered the World. Once I could feel that you were coming closer I took up kneeling but leaning backwards so that I could support myself with my hands. The pushing stage was by far the most frustrating as I felt like I was using the right muscles and pushing in the right direction, but you didn’t seem to move. I was checking my vagina myself to see if I could feel your head, but it was just all spongy and nothing hard. I remember grunting so much more this time, feeling that vocalising it was helping me get the right push happening and Lisa was coaching me through my pushes. Finally I felt your head and this was just the inspiration I needed, I knew exactly where and how to push and so with one great push your head came down the canal and crowned. I couldn’t believe I got you that far in just one push but was telling myself “stop, stop you don’t want to over push and tear this time!” Crowning was far less painful that Isha (due to 4cm difference in head circumference!) haha and I remember thinking “oh this isn’t that bad!” Isha had only just crashed out on the couch and so I told everyone to wake her up, I insisted that she must be awake to see you born seeing as she had been there for most of the labour and this was the big moment. I came forward as you were crowning and brought my hands down to feel your wonderful little head – the most amazing moment was seeing your head come out and slowly rotate around and I paused in my pushing and witnessed this glorious event unfold like I’d heard it did. Slowly your body rotated and then –pop- out came your shoulders and the rest of your body into my hands and I guided you out of the water and into our lives.

You were so tiny – I couldn’t believe how tiny you were in my hands. You opened you eyes and looked up at me and around, but did not make a sound, just such a gentle entrance. But you were also very blue and did not take a big breath so I rubbed you and blew softly on your face. A few minuted passed and you still had not taken a breath so I started to get a bit worried but knew that Lisa had not stepped in yet and so I had nothing to be worried about. We just watched you so intently, Lisa pinching your heels and checking the umbilical cord and your heart rate, I started to blow air and more life into your tiny mouth. We remembered that we didn’t know your sex yet and so asked Isha to have a look – A girl!! She knew it all along – she had been calling my belly ‘Baby Tulsi’, so I called you Tulsi out loud and tears came to my eyes as I willed you to breathe and come into the World fully. Your colour started to change and your reflexes were fine and at about 10 minutes after you born, you took a breath – you had truly arrived! I kept asking Lisa “is she okay?” and she assured me you were fine we would just watch you closely for a little while. I was helped out of the pool and onto the couch where I delivered your healthy placenta. Isha wanted to hold you straight away, not really understanding how fragile newborn babies are, but settled for kisses on your head for the meanwhile. Your Daddy Joss looked very happy that you were a girl; I think he secretly wished for two girls! You nuzzled into my breasts and took to feeding straight away and Lisa had a look to see if I had torn, but I hadn’t this time – yes! I know it was because of a much more controlled, experienced delivery and also your size. Lisa and Hannah thought you looked to be about 36 weeks gestation size and you were very skinny and had lots of vernix covering your sticky little body. We left your placenta attached for about an hour and a half and then Isha actually helped Lisa cut your umbilical cord! Her face looked pretty stunned at the prospect of cutting part of your body, but we explained to her that these were special scissors only intended for cutting umbilical cords and nothing else! Your placenta was put in a bowl in the fridge and will eventually be planted with your own special tree. Lisa had felted a cord tie from the same wool that we used as our wrist bracelets for my Blessingway and Hannah tied off your cord. I couldn’t wait to weigh you to see how tiny you actually were, and so you were placed in a B.D. Paris Creek shopping bag and weighed – 6 pounds 10 ounces – wow, teeny! We were both bundled off to bed, one of the many beautiful aspects of having a homebirth, and life started as a family of four. I have two beautiful girls; a doting big sister now in Isha and Tulsi Teeny as she calls her Tulsi Tea.